Family and its values chapter 1-4

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By admin | December 15, 2008

Chapter 1

Family – A Living Laboratory

Family is a living laboratory where personality buildup process starts.

Man is a social animal. As per sociologists, either mentally retarded person or super spiritual persons can live their life without social interactions. Micro studies reveal that right from the embryo stage a human being become inseparable part of the society and he is being influenced constantly by social interactions. Even years after birth he remains dependant for his needs. Food, clothes, shelter, and other consumable articles are broadly speaking being provided to him by the society. Not only this, he learns languages and dialects, etiquettes, civilized and cultured behavior and customs and traditions through society. The smallest unit of the society is family. Interpersonal relations, common residence and cooperation among all members of the family are the foundation of the society as a family. Infant is the primary stage of the man. He, at this stage is dependent and curious. He imitates others (elder’s) behavior. He understands and learns from the persons and environment around him and acts accordingly. At this stage, infant is in intimate contact with parents, so the character of parents affects the personality of the child most. So it is the utmost duty of the parents to work hard with all sincerity and develop the character first in them. Such parents are ablest parents but those who do not develop character in their children are enemies of their own offspring’s. As great philosopher and atheist Chanakya said, “Parents, who do not provide right education and character to their enemies because without right education and character a child will never adjust in a cultured society just like a crane who does not fit in the group of goose.”

There are many teachers but amongst all, the best teacher is mother, then father and then the teacher, who imparts formal education. The last teacher is the spiritual Guru, who provides religious knowledge and teaches religious acts. It is a saying that “An Acharya (religion head) is better then ten Upadhyaya (associate head), a father is better than 100 Acharya and a mother is better than 100 father”. In other words, a mother can provide that character and education, which even a million associate religious heads, cannot provide. The same way a father is equal to one lac associate religious heads. This proves that a mother’s role is utmost in building personality and inculcating character and education to her child, so it is imperative that mothers should be scholars, religious minded, civilized and cultured. In ancient era, Lord Adinatha had educated his daughters Brahmi and Sundri and said that women education was important. Lord Adinatha explained the importance of women education by saying that, “through education, a man receives respect and honor in the society of scholars, the same way a woman, after being educated, becomes leader in the society.”

Revolutionary leader of India Shri Subhash Chandra Bose hailed the importance and significance of good mother for a good country. According to hic a good mother is better than hundred teachers. He says, “You give me hundred mothers I give you a good nation.” The gist of these saying is that a good mother is the builder of a good nation. Like jewellery made of pure gold is also pure.
“A particular seed grows to that particular tree and that tree will provide fruit as per its nature. If you nourish the seed, the tree will give more flowers and fruits.” In the same way by educating and providing right culture to the women, human societies as a whole become cultured. So an ancient philosopher said “Mother and motherland are greater than heaven.”

History records that due to the ablest and cultured brave mother Jijabai, a lean thin child (son) become a great king Shivaji. She used to inspire him right from his childhood and used to say-“Shiva – if you want to be great in your life time, want to serve the nation and women folk and protect your own culture and religion then you will have to lead a hard and arduous life instead of having good luxurious bed to sleep and golden plate for food. If you have no concern for your culture and respect for women folk, then you may have luxurious bed to sleep and golden plate for food.” Through the inspiration of the ablest ideal teacher Ramdasa, Shivaji become ruler who loved freedom and patriotism and had virtues of patience, bravery and sincerity. He is immortal in Indian history. In the state of Maharashtra Shivaji is considered to be the incarnate of Lord Shiva and is worshipped throughout and caring of children by the parents should not have blind love and affection but it should be aimed to see them great in their life times. The philosophers and atheist’s say-“Raising and caring of infants with blind love develops in the child a number of vices. To develop virtues instead of vices infants should also be controlled and punished.” So pupil and son must be kept under strict supervision, vigilance, discipline and control and if need be, he may be punished.

In infancy period (5 years) child is more sensitive and physically weak and he is dependent on others. If child is rebuked and punished at this age, he develops in him the feelings of inferiority complex, tensions, fear and his personality remains suppressed. So in infancy child raising and caring should be with love and affection. After attaining five years of age, senses and emotions in a child become matured, so at this stage for providing right type lance, discipline and control. From adolescent age when he enters in youth, he feels some self-confidence and a sense of self-respect. Side by side the simplicity, acceptability, memory, honesty etc. of childhood days either diminish or become low. Thus those who did not receive right type of character and education during childhood, do not accept values, norms, character etc. even when we keep then under strict discipline. Thus in adolescent period child needs again love and affection.

Mutual love, understanding, cooperation, service to each other and sacrificing ones needs for others should be the values in a family. We should learn to respect elders and to love youngsters. Mutual sharing of food and work should be the motto. The daughter-in-law should be treated as the dearest daughter and she in turn should behave respectfully with parents-in-law. Through this type of behavior, we shall be able to build individual personality, the society, the nation and ultimately the world.

You should be idealistic yourself and then ask others to be so.
Not helping others is better than helping them with selfish motives.
Do supercede others but not by pulling them down.
Inherit virtues of a great man is better than worshiping his idol.
One should be a well-wisher not only of human beings but of all living beings.

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